Do Scars Ever Heal? ( Dean x Reader)
by thedoctorandroseee
Summary: ( Dean x Reader) FanFiction in which you meet the Winchesters, but is your meeting just chance or is it something deeper like fate?
1. Chapter 1

You can't remember how you ended up in the middle of the forest in the dead of night, or how your trousers became so torn to shreds. A searing, agonizing pain kept shooting through your brain, it was like someone was trying to break your mind before they physically broke you. The noise of someone...something behind you made you run even faster, your heart in your mouth, lungs about to burst. All you could think was 'I'm not going to fucking die this way'. Being lost in these optimistic trains of thought were going to be your downfall, and sure enough a protruding tree root sent you flying onto the decaying leaves at your feet. After that you really couldn't remember much else apart from strong, warm arms lifting you up and carrying you to god knows where.

As the morning light streamed in through the cracks in the shuttered window, you raised your hand to block the beam blinding your vision. Whoever had carried you off last night can't have been all that bad I mean, for starters you weren't dead, and you noticed several bandages wrapped around your aching limbs. Gingerly you began steeping lightly from the bed, careful not to make the ancient looking floorboards creak. By your judgement it seemed to be about six in the morning.

A dusty mirror stood in the corner of the room, opposite a small desk and wooden chair. Studying your injuries and the state of your clothes in the mirror, a sigh left your exhausted lips. There was no way you could-

You suddenly became aware of your pristine ACDC shirt laying out on the desk, almost like it was waiting for you. Bringing a clammy hand to your forehead you smiled, out of all the tops in your leather rucksack, they had chosen that one. Their music taste was obviously as impeccable as yours. The shirt was a little baggy, and came to your thighs, but at least it would hide those hideous scars. Shimmying off your jeans, or what was left of them, you reasoned it would be for the best to throw them away.

At first you thought the cabin was deserted, until you spied someone sat in the kitchen, hunched over a laptop with a puzzled expression. When he saw you, he looked worried for a second, but as soon as you registered it the man smiled and said "How're you feeling?"

You didn't know why, but this man had the sort of face you knew instantly that you could trust, so you returned the smile, "I'm okay. Uh, listen..." You didn't get to finish your sentence however as another man walked out of a side door, clad only in a towel wrapped around his torso. The first thing you noticed about him was his striking emerald eyes and chiseled midriff, all at once you found it hard to breathe and your stomach fluttered. He turned to look at you, scanning you over with his eyes, oh god those eyes... He smirked at you, "Hello princess, my name's Dean. I was your knight in shining armour last night, you're welcome."

At this point, constructing a sensible sentence was out of the question, you weren't sure whether you were being overcome with attraction for this Dean guy or plain fear at being in two stranger's cabin, just wearing a baggy t-shirt. "Don't say much do ya." Dean remarked.

You should probably say something now you idiot, you thought, mentally slapping yourself. "Sorry, I'm just a little y'know shook up from everything," you began to mumble, "My name's Y/N by the way, and I have no idea how I got here or where I am, but thanks... er, you kinda saved my life last night." The whole time you were talking you could feel Dean's eyes fixed on you, and to be honest it was a little intimidating.

"I'm Sam and Dean over there, is my brother." The kind faced man said, looking up from the laptop and sketching a half wave in your direction.

Your mind finally caught up, and all the pieces fitted together like cogs in a well oiled machine, a hand flew to your mouth, "You're... you're the Winchesters!" A toothy grin errupted from your features, and you thanked all the gods you didn't believe in that these two had been the ones to find you. "Oh so you've heard of us then?" Dean said incredulously, walking over to you, so close infact that you could feel the heat radiating from him, swallowing hard you tried to focus solely on his features, but with little success.

"Sure I've heard of you! My dad knew your mum, was real close to her actually."

"Dad never told us about any of mum's friends, even after she died." Sam shrugged, his tone curious.

"My dad committed suicide a week after y'know your mum was killed... Said he couldn't bear being in a world without her in it." A tear made its way down your cheek and you brushed it away quickly, hoping they hadn't noticed. By both their expressions however it was clear they had. Dean cleared his throat and moved away from you, "Sam, we have a problem."

"Yeah?"

"We've run out of beer, and you're on shopping duty."

"Why can't you go?"

"If I go out in my towel, I'll get lynched Sammy."

Sam threw his arms up in defeat, "Okay I'm going!"

Dean walked past you into what you supposed was his bedroom, before he walked though the door he shouted back into the kitchen, "Wait there princess, I want to talk to you."

God you hated being called that, but Dean was just so darn attractive you figured you'd just have to stick it.

A minute later Dean reappeared wearing a tight black top and battered jeans, how was it possible for someone to be that attractive?

"Sit down Y/N." Dean motioned to the couch and you ambled over, careful to avoid several beer bottles at the foot of it. Dean sat down roughly opposite you, running a hand through his hair almost nervously. "Y/N, I wanted to apologise about y'know me acting like a cocky bastard." You opened your mouth to speak but he waved for you to be quiet. "No really, I just want you to know that you can trust us, I mean you knew our mother... Maybe better than we do, but I just can't treat you like family Y/N."

A lump caught in your throat and you gulped several times to clear it, "I understand, god I'm so stupid I should have left ages ago I'm so sorry." You blurted out, your voice slightly higher than usual. You turned to leave but Dean grabbed your wrist, then frowned and turned it over. A wave of anger and sadness crossed his face as he dropped your arm letting it fall limp by your side. "Y/N..." He began, but he didn't get any further as all of the pressure that had been mounting on you seemed to reach a tipping point and it spilled over in the form of hot scalding tears running down your cheeks.

You didn't even know Dean Winchester, or anything about him for that matter but when he pulled you to him and wrapped his arms around your waist protectively you don't give the slightest bit of resistance. To be honest it was what you needed, pleasant human contact was something you hadn't experienced in a long time. "Do you wanna talk about it?" Dean asked, stroking soothing circles on your back in an effort to calm you. You shook your head, no. The memories those scars held were far more worse than the pain that put them there.

When you had recovered enough to think you must look a hell of a mess you leant into Dean, revelling in the warmth of his slowly rising and falling chest, turning to face him you were once again met by those mysterious green eyes, no doubt capable of piercing your very soul. Something deep stirred within you and you kissed his forehead slightly and stroked the back of his neck timidly, "C'mon princess, you look shocking, time for sleep." You batted him on the arm and raised your eyebrow at him pretending to be insulted. He shrugged nonchalantly, "I read somewhere women like it when a mans tells the truth."

Oh Dean. If only you knew the truth about me and those scars, and what I've had to endure, then maybe you'd recoil from me with disgust. Like all the others did before you.


	2. Chapter 2: She is the Sunlight

Dean Winchester Imagine - She is the Sunlight

- Trigger Warning -  
• Self harm, loathing.

Dean and Sam find out about your self harming and Dean tries to make you feel wanted again.

You'd had to excuse yourself from Deans company last night, or you were sure all your unwanted memories would resurface and drag you down into an undefinably difficult hole to climb back out of. Showing him how vulnerable you were was definitely not a good idea. The look of utter concern that had taken over his features however made you feel reassured that he would be the person to talk to about it. You had kept it all bottled up for so long now. Maybe telling someone else would help subsidise the pain.

Checking your watch, and letting out a soft sigh of discontent you realised you'd been sat wallowing in self pity for over two hours. When you dragged yourself from the depths of the duvet covers and peeked around the wooden door, it became clear that no one else was awake.

You considered checking your phone, but who was there to miss you? No one cared when you'd gone missing before, so why should they care now. It was better this way. Maybe the Winchesters would drop you off someplace far away and you could get a normal job, and try to begin again. A tiny part of you wished desperately that they would take you under their wing, and try to train you up to be a better hunter like they were.

You noticed that your phone on the desk was buzzing almost violently and your mind began screaming out the worst scenario possible, it began consuming you immediately. With a shaking hand you turned it over, when you read the number flashing on the screen a numbing feeling took over you and with a quick movement of your wrist the phone landed with a loud thud on the wooden floor. How the hell had they got your number?

Stumbling into the bathroom and locking the door your breathing now ragged and forced, you retrieved a silver blade from the pocket of your pyjamas, hating yourself that it was still there. Almost mocking you with its very presence. You slumped to the floor, all the negative thoughts gathering up speed and power seemed unstoppable. "Stop it! Leave me alone!" A strangled cry left your wavering lips and you began cutting deep gashes in your thighs with the blade, ripping your pyjamas in the process. "Stupid. Worthless. Fat piece of nothing." You chanted, spitting out each word like venom, hot tears streaming down your face because of the utter pain that was more mental than physical.

Outside Dean and Sam were knocking vigorously on the door, having heard your harsh words and sobs of hurt. "Y/N please let us in! Y/N are you okay?" Sams tone was urgent and soulful, almost begging you not to hurt yourself further. "I can't…" You gasped, the amount of blood you'd lost was taking it's toll. Managing to gather up at the last of your strength, and dragging yourself away from the door you reluctantly let them in.

You were slipping in and out of consciousness and were unable to see the look of complete terror on Dean's face, "I ain't losing no one else." He breathed heavily, brushing his hand across your cheek. "I can't even kill myself without messing up." was the last thing you said before the darkness came.

The soft, gentle touch of someone rubbing soothing circles on your forearm was the first thing you became aware of, and the hushed whispers of Dean singing 'Hey Jude' with his lips pressed to your shoulder. The utter serenity of the scene was something you'd never experienced before, and it breathed hope into you that you never knew existed in this dark and cruel world.

Your eyes fluttered open and you pressed your form closer to Dean, who stopped humming abruptly and smiled apologetically. "How are you sweet cheeks?" you chewed the inside of your lip in response, and just like that Dean understood. He always had no problem reading your emotions, most of the time better than you ever could. Not making eye contact with you, like he was scared you'd shy away, Dean outstretched his hand and took yours tenderly, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "God, you know how bad I am at all this touchy feely stuff but er… Damn it Y/N I need you to know I'm here for you. Whenever you need to talk, I got your back okay? I'm sorry I didn't notice earlier, then maybe… Um look you mean a hell of a lot to me and Sammy, losing you would kill us. If it's some son of a bitch from your past tormenting you then god help him he won't live to regret it." Dean's eyes were now shining with tears and you knew right then that this was your reason for living. This man right here. He had broken free from his own shackles of affliction and carried on. He had saved countless others without worrying about the consequence it might have on him.

A love so sharp it pierced your very being exposed itself fully now, all feeling of regret, anguish and hurt vanished when you saw the glitter of hope emerge in his face. "I love you Dean." you managed to murmur. Dean smiled and nodded, "You too sweet cheeks, you too." after the sentence tumbled from his lips, Dean wrapped you in a tight embrace, peppering small kisses over your cheek, eyelashes and forehead. "Remember I got your back Y/N."


End file.
